If I had to raise my child over again…

If I had to raise all over again,

I’d build self-esteem first, and the house later.

I’d finger-paint more, and point the finger less.

I would do less correcting and more connecting.

I’d take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.

I’d stop playing serious, and seriously play.

I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.

I’d do more hugging and less tugging.

This Diane Loomans quote has been on our refrigerator since I rediscovered it in a box containing a few parenting materials I used to use when I facilitated weekly classes for The Council over a decade ago.  But my passion for helping parents see the connection between their own childhoods and how they currently parent began long before my time there.

As a student of family systems and structural family therapy, to list a few, whenever I work with individuals, couples or families, I realize there are more people seated in front of me than who’s actually present during the session.  We all naturally carry various things we learned as children into our adulthood and respond or react to situations based on what we’ve absorbed from those childhood experiences and observations.

Dr. Gilmore